Monday, November 24, 2014

Chapter 14, Thinking Positively about the Future, November 24-Dec. 7



Over the years of my working with students, one of the lifetime goals most mentioned is "happiness." I'm not sure if we know what happiness is or when we have accomplished this goal. I just read a book on the topic, Authentic Happiness, by Martin Seligman. He is a psychologist who actually teaches college courses on this topic. The following are some excerpts from his text. Please read these excerpts, think about them and add your comments. 

Excerpts from Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman:

Real happiness comes from identifying, cultivating and using your personal strengths in work, love, play and parenting. Seligman contrasts happiness with hedonism. He says that a hedonist "wants as many good moments and as few bad moments as possible in life." He states that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness that leaves us feeling empty. For example, we often assume that more material possessions will make us happy. However, the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have. 

Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities. 2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. 3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. 4. Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. 5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. 6. Take the time to savor the happy times. 7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. 8. Build more flow into your life. Flow is the state of gratification we feel when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths. 

Write your comments on these ideas. What does happiness mean to you?

Share some of your intention statements for the future. You can make two posts of 100 words each or one post of 200 words. 

Your postings have been inspiring and awesome. Best wishes for the future! 

43 comments:

  1. As I am aging, I realize more and more that Seligman’s ideas are not only relevant but highly educational. When I was younger I felt a sense of entitlement to be successful, because I was a very hard worker. Even though I worked hard, and usually harder than others around me, I was passed over for promotion a couple times when I felt I really deserved it. I felt being more senior would make me happy. Well it did for a little while, but I found myself becoming restless and pushing to make the next rank, rather than enjoying the accomplishment I had achieved. The main reason is I did not know how to be happy with what I had, rather than constantly wanting more. I still suffer from this on occasion but I have learned how to be happy with my life and those important people in it. I feel most happy when all the kids are happy and doing well. I am going to try and focus more on understanding that the future is open to possibilities. I still hope and believe there is a great job out there for me and my skill set. I am still a hard worker and I want to be happy. Who knows, maybe I can start to see the glass as half-full rather than half-empty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have mentioned some key points here. Reflecting on what we have at the current time and being content with it is a great way to increase happiness. Like you, I am really happy when I see my kids doing well, but sometimes we don't have control over them.

      Delete
  2. Seligman's ideas about happiness are the epitome of the key to happiness in my opinion. I feel like one of the most important points is actually taking the time savor the happy times and enjoy the present moment. This is really hard to do for some people of course, but it is important to remember to always leave relaxing time for yourself. The part you mentioned about Seligman contrasting happiness with hedonism is agreeable. If a hedonist "wants as many good moments and as few bad moments as possible in life," then there is no balance. Also, if all one has in his or her life is good moments and no bad ones then how could they possibly know what a bad moment is? What a makes a moment good is it not being "bad," so you have to take the bad along with the good in order to truly appreciate a good moment. Also, I agree that the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have. Another big part of one's happiness is the people they surround themselves with. You shouldn't depend your happiness on others, but you can rely on your loved ones to keep you up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great post, Tanya! I especially like your idea of enjoying the present moment. I have to remind myself of that from time to time.

      Delete
  3. I absolutely love Seligman's ideas on happiness I feel he hits them right on the button, I am one who use these ideas in my everyday life and tend to be a pretty happy person and a lot of it stems from being raised and taught by these same ideas of happiness and also learning them overtime with age and different situations. I have learned overtime that there really is nothing so so stressful or that major that has need for stress and unhappiness even thinking about the hardest thing which is death, you can look back on all the happy times that person had or fun moments you shared with that person. Over time I have noticed that I have become more happy then I used to be in the past for a lot of reason as far as removing certain negative people out of my life and also becoming more physically healthy over the pass couple years and finding myself and my independence. I feel the hardest one for me to keep with and follow through with is being able to forgive and forget. I have always been one to hold a pretty big grudge on someone when things have gone wrong in the past. I have learned to now even accept the apology for people even when it wasn't given, never understood that but I do now. It makes your happiness increase by millions when you earn to be the bigger person and not let something or someone so little make any strain or stress in your precious beautiful life. I feel like true happiness is knowing what you are doing that moment for yourself and those important around you and what you want to be in the future and keeping positive thoughts always and knowing if you put your mind to it you can do it, I also think it involves really getting to know yourself and what you are doing to better your life on a daily and also being able to realize that life is too short to be wasting stress on the small things stress when you are getting ready to walk down that aisle and get married. That is my motto!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very humble words that really makes you think and be grateful for what you have now instead of thinking what "else ". Every time I come across a situation, be it purchasing new clothes or some random thing for my bike or car. I stop to think, do I really need this item? Will I really be happy after buying it? These situations always remind me of the story "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. . . " because the moral of the story was there will always be a unsatisfied part that just wants more and more. So its up to our own persona to take action and responsibility and be grateful for the things we have now and unless the old items are broken, ripped, etc, then we are just fine. I see that life is not all about money and material items but more about the time that we have left here and spending that precious time more sensible, like with family and friends. Enjoying a good laugh from time to time and just not be so wound up in what social media thinks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a great Christmas message! It is difficult to avoid all the commercialism, but really counts is time with family and friends. Good job!

      Delete
  5. When I think of the word happiness or happy, I think of what makes me happy is my family, friends and my pets. Also, not trying to be selfish, but I think of myself. Most of my friends have told me over the years, that when they are feeling down they just call or text me and they cheer up. I am always doing something wacky, that will makes my family or friends laugh. As everyone can tell I am pretty happy person and I enjoy making people smile. Another way that I look to find happiness is just going outside and smelling the fresh air. Being outside relaxes me all the time. When I am outside, I am exercising which make me happy. The statement that Martin Seligman said is so true “realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities.” I always tell everyone that I could not be the person that I am today without living what I did my past. Today, I am 100 time better of a person then I was in my past. Everyone has to live in their past to see their future self. This is why you have to decide what path you want to go down. Where and when will your crossroad be? Who I was in my past was a person that I am not really proud of, but I cannot change that. When I got to the crossroad in my life which was going to college and living my dreams, I stop being that person and became the people that I am today. The path that I am on today is a lot happier path. Just put on a smile when you are feeling down.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like your comment about who you are today is a result of the past, but the future is open to possibilities. We tend to think too much about how things could be different if we could change the past, but it is not possible. Thanks for adding some great ideas.

      Delete
  6. I could not agree more with Seligman’s concepts of what happiness means. Especially now growing older and seeing how fast things in life can change and honestly how fast time is passing by just makes me want to appreciate life more and savor the moments. Also, personally sometimes I can be a bit negative about life and get caught in all the stress and anxiety that I go through and forget to just relax and be more positive about what I have. I feel like positivity is such a huge factor to being happy in life. I also have cut people and habits out in my life that used to bring me down and put a negative impact on my life and with making that change has made me so much happier. I also agree with Seligman when he say take time to enjoy the present moment. Whenever I am out with my friends whether it is at a party or were just hanging out together, everyone is so glued to their phones and posting pictures and what they are doing online to show others. That is one thing that has always bothered me because I like to just live in the moment and I usually find myself never having any pictures or anything online to look bak at during the moments I enjoy myself the most. There are so many different concepts we could all try to understand and learn to live a happier life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good point about how technology can interfere with appreciating the moment!

      Delete
  7. I am completely love Seligman's ideas on happiness, I feel he have a right key for happiness, and I am one who use these ideas everyday in my life and incline to be a pretty peaceful person and a lot of it stems from being raised. I am been taught by these same ideas of happiness and also I learning them overtime. These ideas make someone to remember their mistake that have had in past, so it make it more difficult. By that I learned what the real life is so “what a makes a moment good is it not being bad.” I have to take the bad along with the good in order to truly appreciate a good moment. I am going to try and focus more on understanding that the future is open to possibilities. I still hope and believe there is a great job out there for me and my skill set. I have to get on tape and be success person on future, also I don’t need what happened to me will goes to my children so I decided to have a good future. There are so many different concepts we could all try understand and learn to live a happier life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you found these ideas useful for yourself and children. Keep working toward that career and keep your eyes open for possibilities.

      Delete
  8. One of my intention statements was to deal better with my anxiety. I tend to over think anything and nearly everything. I intend to learn how to catch myself in the act and change those negative thoughts into positive thoughts. When thinking negatively I not only think about myself but with others. Therefore I not only affect myself but those who I love.
    I will learn how to think more positively about circumstances and try to dwell more so on the hopes and possibilities that the future has to offer. Some of those hopes include earning a college degree, starting a career, strengthening and maintain close relationships, and starting a family. In order to achieve most all of these goals I need to have hope and determination for them. The step in the right direction is to begin to think positively more often and learn how to stop the negative thoughts. I plan for good things for the future so I know that is a start.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great intention statements for the future. Work a little each day to take small steps toward accomplishing your goals.

      Delete
  9. I liked the way how Seligman described his ideas on happiness, he seemed pretty sure of his happiness and that's really great for him, and I am that kind of hard worker person who looks forward for a bright future. I want learn more about his ideas because it really effected how his keys is very positive and it can make my future way better. His ideas inspires everyone who reads it and it will help a lot to remember them in the future. The real life is to take an advantage of any moment I live and I should always no matter what happens because a smile is always better than being mad. I should always ignore the bad things in my life and always focus on what is better to make in future. Also, I should always keep in my mind that any thing is possible and I can do everything I want and achieve my goals successfully. I always want be a great person and work my degree to get a good job in future. I must forget any mistake I did in my life and focus more on my self so I can be proud of my self. There are many keys of success we can learn so we can achieve in our life.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I could not agree more with Seligman. I have had to let a lot of things from my past go. It's hard sometimes not to be hard on myself because of some of the horrible choices that I have made, but I try to focus more on the present and future. I am so happy right now in my life. My relationships are so good and I am healthy and clean, not sober (I like to drink a little, in moderation). Family is everything to me. I am happy in my job, but my college education is going to allow me to be able to use more of my strengths and experiences than I am now. I want to help people that are struggling like I did many years ago. I am so grateful to be able to have the opportunity to do all of these things. I feel like gratitude and acceptance is what brings us happiness. We don't have to stop moving forward but it is important to enjoy the place where we are right now and get everything we can gain from it. Life is moving so fast for me and I just don't want to waste anymore of it . This semester of college (my first) was such an amazing experience. I have met so many people that I think of as friends now. I am excited for next semester.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad your first semester worked out well. You are a good student and keep doing what you are doing to earn that college degree.

      Delete
  11. I completely agree with Seligman’s and think he has an awesome outlook and perspective of happiness. When I think of the word happiness think of all the family and friends that are close to my heart. Being happy isn’t always easy when things get rough but with an optimistic attitude and a group of people to support you there’s always happiness to be found. I always get happy seeing how far I have came in my education and that I am doing something that Ill benefit from and having a career that ill enjoy for the rest of life. Another form of happiness that is in my daily life would be to laugh and have a sense of humor, being silly sometimes always lightens up the mood and creates positive energy! Everyone makes mistakes, but you cant stress the past so moving on from a negative aspect in your life and learning from your mistakes is always a very helpful way to become overall a more happy person! One thing that keeps me with a smile on my face is doing one good deed a day whether it is big or small! Hope everyone has a HAPPY holiday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree that laughter and a sense of humor are important for happiness. Have a happy holiday too!

      Delete
  12. What happiness means to me is being around my family and friend the number one thing that makes me happy is when my family and friends are all together having a BBQ and watching football and playing with my dog and the neighbors dogs also. When my friends are down they call me because I give them good advice and I make them laugh to me when I make my friends laugh when they are down it makes me so happy. I’m always saying weird thing and sometimes I get weird faces or they just start laughing and if I’m around my friends my sayings will get even weirder. For the most part I’m a joyful person and I like to make my family and friends smile and laugh. The other way that make me happy is going on walks and smelling fresh air after being inside half the day getting my homework done with and sometimes I go out outside and seat on my deck and read a book and just relax. The statement that Martin Seligman said is so true “realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities.” If I didn’t have the past that I had I wouldn’t be the same person as today.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Happiness to me is something that I need to live with. Many people think that they had lost all of their happiness; therefor, they attempt suicide. To clear things out, happiness can never be lost. You can always find happiness from smallest things that you do and see. Seligman has some very great ideas on how to increase happiness and these ideas, basically, adds up to be an optimistic person and try to not lose hope. One of the greatest enemies to our successes is being pessimist. To be a pessimist is like thinking that nothing is going well and I should stop trying. This kind of thinking leads us to stop trying to be successful which can lead to sadness or being unhappy. The solution to over come this roadblock of in our way of happiness is very easy. All we have to do is to just start thinking positively and remember that nothing is impossible and we have to keep on trying. Keep on trying leads me to Seligman's other idea, which is to not lose hope. Hope is very important in our life because with it we see our dreams before we accomplish them, with it we seek our future and plan for our life. To have hope is to have happiness that grows bigger as dreams are accomplished. Even if those dreams are not accomplished, hope finds its way for a new dream. Being happy is not something that naturally comes in life, we have to build it and live with it. Those who commits suicide for thinking that their haplessness is gone are wrong. We should tell them about happiness and how they can make it alive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree that it is important to have hope for the future and to think positively. Best wishes on accomplishing your dreams.

      Delete
  14. Happiness is an important thing in everyone lives and happiness means many things to me. Happiness is not just about having money or having that car you want. Happiness to me means being with people I love and having them happy. I am happy when my family and friends are happy. You can't count happiness with the amount of money you have, clothes, cars, houses, or anything else because that is not true happiness. I have a few friends who have the money to do whatever they want but yet they are not completely happy and are always complaining about their relationships with their significant other, parents, cousins, and friends. Don't get me wrong I know money and tangible material makes people happy but if you have the money and are struggling with your relationships then you are not truly happy. Many people work towards one thing at a time for example building a career spending years to build a career or business but they forgot about taking care of themselves or taking care of their loved ones. I am happy in my life right now because I have an amazing family, a good job, and I have good friends that I can depend on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is great that you are looking at your life and deciding to be happy. Happy holidays!

      Delete
  15. I completely agree with Seligman's view of what happiness is, and believe that his suggestions on how to increase the level of happiness one feels are all quite sound and are all around things that could improve your lifestyle. I believe that his first point, on how you must realize that your past does not decide your future, is great advice as many people are so hung up on what happened to them in the past that they can lose sight of the future. This can cause people to fail where they otherwise would have succeeded due to their lack of focus and foresight. I believe that points two through four are closely related and boil down to looking at life with a positive view instead of focusing on the negative. I can attest to this being somewhat effective as at the start of this class I was incredibly cynical and negative, and while this has not completely changed I have certainly improved a bit through constant use of positive thinking and believe that I have become at least somewhat happier. Lastly the sixth to eighth points state to find what makes you happy and to treasure the happy times, though this seems like common sense there are many that forget to enjoy the things they love and can eventually come to resent the things they used to like doing. This can be avoided by remembering that you are taking these actions because you enjoy them as well as by spreading out how often you take them. In conclusion all of Seligman's advice, in my opinion, can lead to a happier existence if applied to your life and followed through on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad to hear that you are thinking more positively. Great comments!

      Delete
  16. I could not agree more with Seligman's view of what happiness is. I feel like he nailed it spot on. Happiness is the key to a successful life, using your personal strengths in a work place and everything around you. When your in a good mood I feel like you engage in things more, build an interest or liking to something easier. People tend to dwell on events from the past, and usually that holds them back in the future. By forgetting about the not so good times that happened in the past, you can carry a more happy feeling. Happiness to means means your perfectly content with whats going on in your life, appreciating whats around you, being thankful for the people in it. These days not too many people appreciate what they have and they worry about what they don't have. I feel like one of the most important thing is actually taking the time to savor the happy times and enjoy the present moment. I can honestly say that I am truly grateful for everyone and everything that life has blessed me with so far, I cant wait to see whats next.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Success is what's next. Just keep going and don't give up. Happy holidays!

      Delete
  17. Realize that the past does not determine your future. I always try this method and it does help me out to become more confident of myself. I try to open myself to possibilities because I find out I gain more information about our life. I am always grateful to a point when I am always happy and I try to pay less attention to bad events. Most of the time I build good relationships moreover I always try to be positive and I try not to be a hop less. I try to forgive as much as I can and I try not to blame myself or someone else, I like being kind. Most of the times I keep myself from troubles and try involving with education because when I learn new things I get excited and that saves me from not being happy. I like challenging myself so that I can know if I am a happy person or not. So far what I have found is that I am not missing anything from this world and I am glad that I am healthy and humble person and respectful. I enjoy my life everyday by being a good person in public and that’s a part of my happiness. I agree to Seligman tips.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great ideas for being happy: learning new things, challenging yourself, being kind, being healthy and being humble. Happy life!

      Delete
  18. I totally agree with seligman’s ideas of happiness. As I experienced many horrible event’s in my life,as being apart from family members because of war in my country. The true meaning of happiness for me if my family. Four months ago my dad went to our homeland for an emergency.On the Second day he was kidnapped. The first person who was informed with this horrible incident was me here in the United States, and I had the responsibility all on me to go tell my family members. After six days of suffering and fear my dad was released. For many hours I felt that I won’t have a happy life anymore and that everything in my life stopped. While the minute that I saw my dad in the airport made me truly understand that without my family there is no happiness in this world and still O thank god for every single minute that my eyes can see my dad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This was a horrible experience. Glad your Dad returned safely. I admire the courage of all who have emigrated to this country and faced many hardships. Keep being a good student so you can have a good career here.

      Delete
  19. Happiness is a good feeling. Happiness to me is feeling loved by your family and friends and even everyone around you. Happiness is the feeling of having no regrets or worries in life and just enjoying the time you have with people you love. Happiness can be expressed in many ways but that is what happiness means to me. When I am happy, I get butterflies in my stomach and I get a warm feeling in my tummy. I am most happy during this time of year when I get to spend quality time with my family and cousins because I love them so much and I love cooking tamales for everyone. It is, in my opinion, the best time of the year. I also think success is the key to happiness. When you accomplish something you have always wanted to do, you become happy. For example, having a stable life and career is true happiness with no worries in life. Everyone has their own perspective on happiness and I think it is expressed in so many different ways and places. Happiness could be love or even true friendships. Everyone needs some sort of happiness in their lives it is a wonderful feeling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Enjoy the season with all your friends and family. We make tamales too and have a fiesta for Christmas.

      Delete
  20. Seligman makes very good points when it comes to happiness. I find myself agreeing with his ideas when it comes to happiness. What many people don’t realize is that true happiness comes from within. There has to be contentment with oneself in order for happiness to exist. If we rely on other’s to provide us with happiness we are often doomed to feel dissatisfaction. Seligman’s steps to happiness all involve working on oneself in order to feel happier. Also being grateful and appreciating the moment are very important things when it comes to happiness. Having it all will simply make us want more and happiness is not achieved that way. If we are grateful and satisfied with what we have then happiness follows. Appreciating the presents is also very important moments come and go in an instant. It is important to stay present and enjoy life. Engaging in activities that peak our interest and bettering ourselves bring us closer to becoming a happier person.
    We have to take life as it and realize that just like good moments there are also bad ones. They say that stars shine brighter in the dark and thus good moments are better appreciated when the bad moments have taken place.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like your comment about stars shining brighter in the dark. It is a very positive way of looking at life. Happy holidays!

      Delete
  21. I have always been happy and have found it relatively easy to maintain and optimistic perspective on life. There are so many people that have a hard time with this and seem to try to take the shortcut road to happiness. I personally know people who struggle with this and it seems like they are never happy. On top of that, when a negative situation occurs in their lives, it is detrimental and they seem to have a very difficult time recovering. I love the ways that Sonya Lyubomirsky says to be happy; express gratitude, cultivate optimism, avoid over thinking and social comparison, practice acts of kindness, increase flow activities, savor life's joys, commit to accomplishing your goals and take care of your body. Everything that she said seems to be spot on and like it would be the best road to happiness. I know that for me, I need to start taking better care of my body. But we all have things that we can improve upon and improving yourself increases happiness too!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Overall when I think about my life and my situation I am a happy person. When I was younger I thought it was the material things that would bring me the most happiness. As I got older, I realized that it is not the material things that make me happy but the relationships that I have with friends and family. Seligman suggests finding out what activities make you happy and engage in them. One thing that I never get tired of doing is going to concerts. I enjoy being out, listening to good music, and meeting new people. It’s the little things in life where I find the most happiness. Seligman also suggests taking time to enjoy the present moment. I lost a really good friend a few months back and it made me realize that we can be here today and gone tomorrow. Go with the flow and live in the now. I would have to agree with Seligman when he states that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness that leaves us feeling empty. When I am done hanging out with my family/ friends I leave with the feeling of love and laughter. Everyone deserves to be happy. To me happiness is a state of mind.

    ReplyDelete
  23. After my first semester of college I would like to continue to keep myself on the right track. Limited procrastination, maximum amount of hard work and get things done ahead of time. I intend to keep track of assignments ad import dates by calendar so I won't have to scramble around wondering when due dates are. I intend to transfer to UCSC after I get my Associate's degree. Although I may leave earlier and transfer to another Junior college, Cabrillo. I intend to lead a successful life and I want to continue to make a positive impact on myself.

    ReplyDelete